Lights Out Faith

For we live by faith, not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7

When I was newly saved, I spoke to a wise Deacon in our church and shared with him how God was moving before me in all areas of my life, destroying every opposition in my path. He told me, “Remember these days because there will come a time when God will require more faith in your life.” During those years of spiritual infancy, I followed Psalms 119:105, which states, “Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.” It was easy to trust God when he gave so many signs and wonders, allowing me to discern his presence in my life nearly tangibly. It was almost as if he was leaving spiritual breadcrumbs, and all I needed to do was follow the path and pick up the provisions he had left behind, much like Psalms 37:23 when it says, “The LORD orders the steps of a good man: and he delighteth in his way.”

After experiencing a few years in my relationship with God, just as the Deacon predicted, I began to enter periods filled with turmoil. My wife and I were at a professional soccer game when she became ill with our first child. So we rushed to the emergency room, where after a few checks, they immediately ran her back for more testing, and we began to find out just how serious this was. The short version was that these complications had the potential that I may have to decide who lived; my wife or my child. Every five minutes, an alarm would go off in our room, indicating something was dangerous and needed attention. This went on for days as they had to introduce steroids into my wife so that our daughter’s lungs would develop quicker because, at 29 weeks, she would have difficulty surviving outside the womb. I was at my wife’s side the entire time, but at one point, I needed to shower and reset after all the stress and alarms. On my way home, amid my turmoil, I dared to strip myself spiritually bare before God and begin to worship.

During this period, there were no lamps for my feet or lights on my path; I was in darkness. What happens to your faith when God turns off the lights? What happens when he holds his hands out and bids you to leave the ship and walk upon the water as he did with Peter in Matthew 14:29? God asked him to leave his comfort zone (ship) and step out onto the source of his fear (water). What happens when God asks you to walk by faith, not sight? When you are in the struggle of your life, and God says, “Jump, I promise I will catch you!” The doctors back in the hospital gave me innumerable statistics that my daughter would either not survive past 72 hours, or if she did, she would be a slow learner. I informed them that God was 100% unimpressed with their statistics. My daughter is now almost 19 years old and is a brilliant artist in college, taking honors classes, a devoted follower of Christ, and an exceptional witness to God’s grace. So back to my question, “What happens when God turns off the lights?” I will tell you, it is in those dark places that you will experience the miracles of God like no other place!